Is unforgiveness hindering your relationship with God or with your spouse? Is there anything for which you need to ask forgiveness?
Watch video clip “Caleb’s apology”
Discussion
Question 1
As you watched this scene, what touched you the most? And why?
Read Colossians 3:12-15
12Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. 13Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. 14And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity. 15Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful.Question 2
This passage gives wisdom for healthy relationships. List some ways in which Caleb illustrated this passage. How did he show compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, patience and a desire for peace?
Read Ephesians 4:15
Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will grow to become in every respect the mature body of him who is the head, that is, Christ.
Question 3
How does Caleb “confess” to Catherine and speak the truth about his past treatment of her? If he had been less open and honest, how do you think it would have changed the impact of his apology?
Read Proverbs 15:1
A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.
Question 4
In earlier scenes from Fireproof, Caleb complained about Catherine and how she treated him. During his apology, he doesn’t bring up any of Catherine’s faults, nor does he blame her. Why and how is this significant? In what ways might her reaction have been different if he had?
Read Romans 5:10
For if, while we were God’s enemies, we were reconciled to him through the death of his Son, how much more, having been reconciled, shall we be saved through his life!
Read Luke 23:33-34
33When they came to the place called the Skull, they crucified him there, along with the criminals—one on his right, the other on his left. 34Jesus said, “Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing.” And they divided up his clothes by casting lots.
Read 1 John 1:8-9
8If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us. 9If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.
Question 5
According to these verses; we were all sinners and even “enemies” with God before he forgave us. In the passage from Luke, Jesus forgives while He is being crucified! As you think about your past – your thoughts and your actions – how greatly has God forgiven you?
Question 6
How readily do you forgive others? Do you set any conditions for forgiveness?
Read Matthew 5:23-24
23“Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother or sister has something against you, 24leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to them; then come and offer your gift.
Read Matthew 6:12-15
12And forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors. 13And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from the evil one, for yours is the kingdom and the power and the glory forever. Amen.’ 14For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. 15But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.
Read Mark 11:25-26 (New King James Version)
25“And whenever you stand praying if you have anything against anyone, forgive him, that your Father in heaven may also forgive you your trespasses. 26But if you do not forgive, neither will your Father in heaven forgive your trespasses.”
Question 7
All these passages are Jesus’ teaching on the concept of forgiveness. As you read through them, do they portray forgiveness as just a feeling or as something that requires a
deliberate decision? Is there anything in the three passages that indicates forgiveness might also require action?
Question 8
Think of a time when you forgave someone – what did you do? How did your feelings and your actions change? Take some time to discuss what forgiveness looks like on a day-to-day basis.
Question 9
As you read these verses, do you see any consequences for forgiveness? How does unforgiveness affect your relationship with God?
Read Philippians 1:6
. . being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.
Question 10
Consider this verse and how it applies to both of you and your spouse. Is it up to you to cause your spouse to change, or is God able and willing to transform your mate? How can this promise change how you treat your husband/wife?
Close in prayer.
Watch video clip “Caleb’s apology”
Discussion
Question 1
As you watched this scene, what touched you the most? And why?
Read Colossians 3:12-15
12Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. 13Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. 14And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity. 15Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful.Question 2
This passage gives wisdom for healthy relationships. List some ways in which Caleb illustrated this passage. How did he show compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, patience and a desire for peace?
Read Ephesians 4:15
Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will grow to become in every respect the mature body of him who is the head, that is, Christ.
Question 3
How does Caleb “confess” to Catherine and speak the truth about his past treatment of her? If he had been less open and honest, how do you think it would have changed the impact of his apology?
Read Proverbs 15:1
A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.
Question 4
In earlier scenes from Fireproof, Caleb complained about Catherine and how she treated him. During his apology, he doesn’t bring up any of Catherine’s faults, nor does he blame her. Why and how is this significant? In what ways might her reaction have been different if he had?
Read Romans 5:10
For if, while we were God’s enemies, we were reconciled to him through the death of his Son, how much more, having been reconciled, shall we be saved through his life!
Read Luke 23:33-34
33When they came to the place called the Skull, they crucified him there, along with the criminals—one on his right, the other on his left. 34Jesus said, “Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing.” And they divided up his clothes by casting lots.
Read 1 John 1:8-9
8If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us. 9If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.
Question 5
According to these verses; we were all sinners and even “enemies” with God before he forgave us. In the passage from Luke, Jesus forgives while He is being crucified! As you think about your past – your thoughts and your actions – how greatly has God forgiven you?
Question 6
How readily do you forgive others? Do you set any conditions for forgiveness?
Read Matthew 5:23-24
23“Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother or sister has something against you, 24leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to them; then come and offer your gift.
Read Matthew 6:12-15
12And forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors. 13And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from the evil one, for yours is the kingdom and the power and the glory forever. Amen.’ 14For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. 15But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.
Read Mark 11:25-26 (New King James Version)
25“And whenever you stand praying if you have anything against anyone, forgive him, that your Father in heaven may also forgive you your trespasses. 26But if you do not forgive, neither will your Father in heaven forgive your trespasses.”
Question 7
All these passages are Jesus’ teaching on the concept of forgiveness. As you read through them, do they portray forgiveness as just a feeling or as something that requires a
deliberate decision? Is there anything in the three passages that indicates forgiveness might also require action?
Question 8
Think of a time when you forgave someone – what did you do? How did your feelings and your actions change? Take some time to discuss what forgiveness looks like on a day-to-day basis.
Question 9
As you read these verses, do you see any consequences for forgiveness? How does unforgiveness affect your relationship with God?
Read Philippians 1:6
. . being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.
Question 10
Consider this verse and how it applies to both of you and your spouse. Is it up to you to cause your spouse to change, or is God able and willing to transform your mate? How can this promise change how you treat your husband/wife?
Close in prayer.