*Watch video clip *
Question 1
What difference do you observe in how Caleb and Michael view marriage vows?
Question 2
The emotions surrounding a difficult marriage can be very strong; partners sometimes rationalize and defend a poor decision. As Caleb talks with Michael, how does he explain the pending divorce? Write down the reasons he gives.
Question 3
Michael tells Caleb, “I’ve seen you run into a burning building to save people you don’t even know, but you’re going to let your own marriage burn to the ground.” Why do you think some people work through their marriage problems but others do not?
Illustration: For better or for worse
Read Ecclesiastes 4:9
Two are better than one.
Read Song of Solomon 5:16
His mouth is sweetness itself; he is altogether lovely. This is my beloved, this is my friend, daughters of Jerusalem.
Long ago, Israel’s king Solomon handed down both wisdom and poetry on the topic of marriage. We all understand “two are better than one” when we long for a best friend, lover and ally who will remain with us for the rest of our life. Solomon captured the feelings eloquently when he wrote, “This is my lover, this is my friend” (Song of Solomon 5:16). In the same book of the Bible, Solomon also invites his beautiful wife to “come with me.” His words are frequently used in weddings because we can easily identify with the romance and desire for a “soul mate.”
A majority of adults find someone to fill their need for a partner and companion. In the U.S. approx. 55% (2010) will eventually marry. Unfortunately, around half of all marriages end in divorce. Most perish from what’s called “irreconcilable differences,” which is a catch-all phrase for Caleb’s description “it’s just not working out anymore.”
Other common explanations include, “I’ve fallen out of love with him/her,” or “we’re just two different people now.”
In reality there are days in every relationship when there are “irreconcilable differences.” But God intended marriage to last a lifetime. The salt and pepper lesson portrays a great truth, marriage is a covenant. The dictionary defines “covenant” as a solemn agreement with legal validity. In our culture, however, marriage is sometimes treated more like a 50/50 contract. Spouses do their part IF they feel the other partner is doing his/her part.
Discussion
Read Matthew 19:4-6
4“Haven’t you read,” he replied, “that at the beginning the Creator ‘made them male and female,’ 5and said, ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united
to his wife, and the two will become one flesh’? 6So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.”
Question 4
What word or phrase does Jesus use to describe marriage?
Question 5
Michael warns Caleb to not pull apart the salt and pepper shakers, saying that he will break one or both of them. What are some of the real-life consequences of divorce?
Question 6
Jesus says that man is not to separate what God has joined together. In the movie Fireproof, some of Catharine’s colleagues blame Caleb for the problems in their marriage. Catharine also becomes very close to a male doctor at the hospital where she
works. List some ways in which people can “separate” (i.e. physically, emotionally, spiritually) a married couple.
Read Malachi 2:14-16
14You ask, “Why?” It is because the Lord is the witness between you and the wife of your youth. You have been unfaithful to her, though she is your partner, the wife of your marriage covenant. 15Has not the one God made you? You belong to him in body and spirit. And what does the one God seek? Godly offspring. So be on your guard, and do not be unfaithful to the wife of your youth. 16“The man who hates and divorces his wife,” says the Lord, the God of Israel, “does violence to the one he should protect,” says the Lord, the God of Israel, “because the man who divorces his wife covers his garment with violence,” says the Lord Almighty. So be on your guard, and do not be unfaithful.
Question 7
This passage refers to divorce as “broken faith” (New International Version). The King James Version uses the phrase “dealt treacherously,” which means to not take vows
seriously. What does this say about how God views divorce?
Question 8
Verse 16 says that God hates divorce. What do you think some of the reasons might be?
Question 9
Look at verse 16 carefully. Is there a distinction between “God hates divorce” and “God hates people who divorce?” Explain your answer.
Read Ecclesiastes 5:4-5
4When you make a vow to God, do not delay to fulfill it. He has no pleasure in fools; fulfill your vow. 5It is better not to make a vow than to make one and not fulfill it.
Question 10
What direction is given in this passage? How would it apply to marriage?
Question 11
How does this principle differ from the world’s view of a covenant relationship, i.e. is it contingent on both parties fulfilling their obligations?
Close in prayer.
Question 1
What difference do you observe in how Caleb and Michael view marriage vows?
Question 2
The emotions surrounding a difficult marriage can be very strong; partners sometimes rationalize and defend a poor decision. As Caleb talks with Michael, how does he explain the pending divorce? Write down the reasons he gives.
Question 3
Michael tells Caleb, “I’ve seen you run into a burning building to save people you don’t even know, but you’re going to let your own marriage burn to the ground.” Why do you think some people work through their marriage problems but others do not?
Illustration: For better or for worse
Read Ecclesiastes 4:9
Two are better than one.
Read Song of Solomon 5:16
His mouth is sweetness itself; he is altogether lovely. This is my beloved, this is my friend, daughters of Jerusalem.
Long ago, Israel’s king Solomon handed down both wisdom and poetry on the topic of marriage. We all understand “two are better than one” when we long for a best friend, lover and ally who will remain with us for the rest of our life. Solomon captured the feelings eloquently when he wrote, “This is my lover, this is my friend” (Song of Solomon 5:16). In the same book of the Bible, Solomon also invites his beautiful wife to “come with me.” His words are frequently used in weddings because we can easily identify with the romance and desire for a “soul mate.”
A majority of adults find someone to fill their need for a partner and companion. In the U.S. approx. 55% (2010) will eventually marry. Unfortunately, around half of all marriages end in divorce. Most perish from what’s called “irreconcilable differences,” which is a catch-all phrase for Caleb’s description “it’s just not working out anymore.”
Other common explanations include, “I’ve fallen out of love with him/her,” or “we’re just two different people now.”
In reality there are days in every relationship when there are “irreconcilable differences.” But God intended marriage to last a lifetime. The salt and pepper lesson portrays a great truth, marriage is a covenant. The dictionary defines “covenant” as a solemn agreement with legal validity. In our culture, however, marriage is sometimes treated more like a 50/50 contract. Spouses do their part IF they feel the other partner is doing his/her part.
Discussion
Read Matthew 19:4-6
4“Haven’t you read,” he replied, “that at the beginning the Creator ‘made them male and female,’ 5and said, ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united
to his wife, and the two will become one flesh’? 6So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.”
Question 4
What word or phrase does Jesus use to describe marriage?
Question 5
Michael warns Caleb to not pull apart the salt and pepper shakers, saying that he will break one or both of them. What are some of the real-life consequences of divorce?
Question 6
Jesus says that man is not to separate what God has joined together. In the movie Fireproof, some of Catharine’s colleagues blame Caleb for the problems in their marriage. Catharine also becomes very close to a male doctor at the hospital where she
works. List some ways in which people can “separate” (i.e. physically, emotionally, spiritually) a married couple.
Read Malachi 2:14-16
14You ask, “Why?” It is because the Lord is the witness between you and the wife of your youth. You have been unfaithful to her, though she is your partner, the wife of your marriage covenant. 15Has not the one God made you? You belong to him in body and spirit. And what does the one God seek? Godly offspring. So be on your guard, and do not be unfaithful to the wife of your youth. 16“The man who hates and divorces his wife,” says the Lord, the God of Israel, “does violence to the one he should protect,” says the Lord, the God of Israel, “because the man who divorces his wife covers his garment with violence,” says the Lord Almighty. So be on your guard, and do not be unfaithful.
Question 7
This passage refers to divorce as “broken faith” (New International Version). The King James Version uses the phrase “dealt treacherously,” which means to not take vows
seriously. What does this say about how God views divorce?
Question 8
Verse 16 says that God hates divorce. What do you think some of the reasons might be?
Question 9
Look at verse 16 carefully. Is there a distinction between “God hates divorce” and “God hates people who divorce?” Explain your answer.
Read Ecclesiastes 5:4-5
4When you make a vow to God, do not delay to fulfill it. He has no pleasure in fools; fulfill your vow. 5It is better not to make a vow than to make one and not fulfill it.
Question 10
What direction is given in this passage? How would it apply to marriage?
Question 11
How does this principle differ from the world’s view of a covenant relationship, i.e. is it contingent on both parties fulfilling their obligations?
Close in prayer.